Written by : Giada Combusti

Life can be tough. It can leave us with a sense of bitterness, injustice and anger, it can harden our hearts and make us want to give up on EVERYTHING. 

We’ve all been there and it is not nice. I know. 

However, I think God ( or life as you might prefer to refer to it) has planned to give us more than this sense of harshness.  

Every day we can choose how to live our lives and even when the world looks like going against us, it is always worth making an extra effort to be kind, gentle, loving and understanding with the people around us but mostly our family members. Is it easier to be an asshole than a nice person but the results are incomparable.  I CHOOSE TO LOVE.

Here’s how I make sure I give the best to my family. 

Bear in mind I don’t always succeed but as I often say “I try my best !”

1. Sleep, sleep and sleep

Sleep is so important for me, whenever I have a poor night the day after is just miserable. I’m half patient, I feel lethargic and I perform really scarcely. Sometimes we underestimate sleep and we think we don’t need to sleep that much but soon or later the body would let us know that something is missing.

2. I fill up my cup 

I, most of the time the one who wakes up earlier in the morning, 1 or 2 hours before everyone else. This is my time, when I pray ( meditate ), work on my projects and where appreciate the silence and the birds singing.

I am also the one who goes to bed at the latest as this is the time when I read my books. 

Those two things for me are essential to start and finish the day in the best way. What are your things? Perhaps running? Cooking?

3.  Healthy diet 

I’m Italian and in our culture, there is no junk food, even ready meals from Italian shops are like home-cooked ones, so I have a very strong base and general knowledge of how to eat healthily; although there are temptations ( 🙂 ) everywhere I try to keep my sweet intake very low ( I have noticed that sugar gives me a bit of depression mood ) and I eat a lot of vegetables, fruits, nuts and dates. I only drink coffee, tea and water. When I feed myself well I feel good, strong and more focused therefore I give the best to the ones around me. 

4.  I choose to keep quiet rather than fire up a fight and so should you 

With time, the tension in our relationships will rise and expectations will let us feel treated unfairly by our partner. This can be a challenge but what I tend to do is to try to ‘’fix’’ myself first, analyse my thinking and way of being, have conversations in the most constructive way and when things get nasty I just choose to keep quiet and I wait till the water has calmed down to discuss about that issue. It is easier to say than do but as I always say I try my best!

5.  Do more of the things I love

I choose to minimise the things we do and the things we own and to spend more time doing the things I love which are drawing, shooting with my camera and spending time in nature. 

SPENDING TIME IN NATURE is something I would never stop recommending to people who want to have a happier life.

Spend more time in nature. Is it as simple as that, we are natural beings and we should implant in our heads that nature is us and we need to be there to feel GOOD, more often the better. There are tons of studies about how good for our well-being is to spend time in nature here’s one: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032712002005 

However not every time we have the possibility to go out due to bad weather or lack of time, so I would suggest finding something that you truly love and embracing that thing, indulging yourself in your hobby. This is another article I wrote about how to find your passion: https://peaceful-space.co.uk/how-to-find-your-passion/

6. Connect with other humans 

Talk to people. Say “ Hi” to them, make new friends, be nice, encourage them, try to leave a positive note in their day and make sure to smile! Be a river of compliments, there is always something nice to say to anyone!

Even in our darkest time, a chat with someone, anyone, can really flip our mood, we shouldn’t be shy because there is nothing to miss and everything to gain.

7. Keep our home clean, tidy, and uncluttered and try to create a Peaceful Space

Our home should be our sanctuary. 

Home should be a  place where we feel at peace.

Home should be a place where you can rest – regenerate ourself.

I used to be a full-time fashion model and for years I moved from one place to another and I never had a chance to settle down and create my peaceful space. That came to an end when I became a mother over five years ago. In that time I learned that settling down is not just about having a fixed abode but creating a home where I am at peace. When my home it tidy and uncluttered I feel at peace and I found out how the balance of my home can interfere with my mental health. Minimalism is the key to success and I can firmly say less is more.

Less stuff is equal to less time wasted on cleaning, maintaining and replacing stuff with don’t really need. Everything has a place in our home and how nice is to wake up to a clean and tidy home, this makes me start the day on a very positive note. 

8. Quiet time 

In our era we constantly try to keep ourselves engaged in something, we scroll our phones to see what other people are up to, we call someone to have a chat, we watch videos on YouTube and we listen to podcasts; this can’t be necessarily all bad, it can actually be good and educational HOWEVER what I have discovered recently is that is GOOD to just do one thing at the time and just listen to the sounds of our homes and dive into our thoughts while chores. I found this sometimes to be therapeutic and necessary to feel connected and content.

9. Writing 

When I write I can better picture my feelings, I can understand myself more and reassure my heart, I have done this since I was little girl and I can’t live without it. Writing my feelings, desires, fears and much more helps me to be connected and feel secure about myself and my values.

There is always a light at the end, look for it, don’t give up and just try your best, the rest will come with time….

10. Praying 

Is the era of meditation and everyone is talking about it, I am a more classic/simple kind of person and I like to call this practice prayer.  I dedicate this practice lots of time in the day by being grateful for every small / grate miracle I witness, as the things I can experience with my senses; I thank God for the beautiful things I have in my life, including the hardships, I ask for guidance for a more meaningful existence, a life at the service of others and I pray for the best for family, friends and the oppressed. This is food for my soul, light for my heart and clarity for my mind. 

I hope this was a nice inspiring article for you guys. 

With sincere Love

Giada

3 easy steps that will help you to find YOUR passion

Written by : Giada Combusti 

I always looked up to people who had found their passion; that thing that would keep them awake at night, that thing that they would do just because they loved it, that thing that would make them forget about time and space. 

For years I looked for mine, I travelled the world, I watched and listen, I visited museums, went to shows and art galleries but I never realised what I loved was just there under my eyes.

As I mentioned in a previous post A LIFE WITHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, one of the main causes of me finding my passion was because I left the world of social media FB&IG, “the everyone distraction”.

                                   

DEPRESSION AND PREGNANCY

During my first pregnancy, I was diagnosed with depression, I had to see a doctor who helped me during this difficult time; not only I was feeling extremely tired, I just wanted to sleep all day long, and I was feeling hopeless, lonely, scared and I had very negative thinking. 

I couldn’t concentrate and everything seemed to be very difficult, sometimes simple tasks felt impossible, like reading a book or writing an email. Luckily before my first daughter was born, with the help of the doctor and my husband, I was feeling good, once again. 

When my daughter was 13 months we discovered I was expecting again.

After the first excitement I started to feel concerned, would I be feeling bad again? Am I going to have negative thoughts? 

This is when I decided to act upon my fears and I went to the stationery shop and I bought some pencils and a notebook, I wanted to draw to ease the pain, to feel focused on something I enjoy, to create something beautiful that would make me happy. This is when a new beautiful journey was about to begin. With drawing I found my passion, the thing I would do all the time if I could, the same thing that makes me forget about time, my safe space where I feel in full control, my peaceful space and no matter where I am or how I feel, my sketchbook is always with me and I know that whenever I give it a chance I can feel balanced, happy and content. 

HOW DID I FIND MY PASSION?

I believe in life if we want to find our passions or a stress-free life, we need to create space; a constantly busy person, a person who when possible use their phones as a distraction is very unlikely that they would find it. 

By leaving social media I allowed my mind to have more space, peace, less concern and more intentional living.

With my little girl, we went through lots of books and lots of artwork sessions and while working with her I realised how much I loved the smell of the pencils the touch of the paper, and the joy I felt looking at certain types of drawings and also the satisfaction I sense when I completed a little drawing… I was enjoying all this. I could have spent my time with my d.d watching tv ( which we never actually own ), scrolling my phone but no, I opted for something different and authentic, something that would allow us to be creative, to create a stronger bond and to be focused in a pleasant activity. Many studies show that creativity is good for our well-being. Brittany Harker Martin, an associate professor, leadership, policy and governance with an arts education specialisation at the University of Calgary, said in “Brain research shows the arts promote mental health”.

https://www.thewhig.com/opinion/columnists/studies-agree-creativity-makes-us-feel-good

EVERY MINUTE METTERS :

Sad to say, but I rarely received help since I am a Mother, although I remember every single time I did had an extra hand, soft, kind and encouraging words  ( I sincerely treasure it inside my heart); the majority of the time I and dearest husband had to go through things alone, and from time to time we had to endure negligences and lots of criticisms on how we do things.

By saying this I would like to make clear how, as homeschooling parents, it is challenging to keep everything under control and how our free time is limited. 

HOWEVER every minute matters. I remember at the beginning of my drawing journey while being a breastfeeding mother with a 2 years old girl to look after I would sketch at the kitchen counter while cooking! I would read before bed ( forget about Netflix and stuff ), I would wake 2-3 hours before everyone else to do the things I loved, I would bring my camera with me whenever I was out with the kids and practice, practice and practice, and I would write down little beautiful phrases that would come up to my mind. Did I have a day to express my creativity? Certainly no. Did I have someone who guided me? No. I create those moments out of nowhere and those moments brought me back to life! 

I encourage you to focus on the things that matter in life and to live those moments of freedom (such as lunch break at work -while queuing at the bank – before going to bed ) to nourish your creativity, to nourish your soul. 

Every little moment matters! 

                                      

Here’s how my journey led me to have a clear vision about finding my passions; 3 easy steps to discover your passion 

RECONNECT TO YOUR INNER CHILD, SEARCH FOR THE THING YOU LOVED THE MOST WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE

Photography, books, drawing, writing and spirituality have played a significant role in my life since an early age, and those are the things I feel strongly passionate about and interested in. So I reckon that our passion is very often something that already has touched our lives in one way or another. For instance, my dad is passionate about photography, and I remember looking at his pictures of our family and friends with much admiration. Religion was one of my favourite subjects at secondary school as I was very interested in knowing other people’s faiths;  I always drew little doodles whenever I had a pen and paper. 

So I encourage you to look at the things you used to like when you were little. Perhaps your grandmother was knitting and she taught the basics and you loved it but never really got into it because of other factors, start playing with it again. Maybe there was a subject at school that you were particularly good at, try and look into it explore it and see how it goes. 

Possibly when you see someone doing something specific like working wood you feel a kind of attraction, just got for it, take some classes read some books about it and it may happen that you will find the thing you were meant to be doing but never took the time to think about it. My brother at age 27 started to take piano lessons and sooner than expected was able to play Chopin! So, it is never too late!

Just try.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND DO THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, CONNECTED AND AT PEACE.

Don’t think about what people might say about your new creations or hobby, people will ALWAYS say something so you may as well do something that you love. Be brave and follow your heart. Just go for it. 

PRACTICE MAKES IT PERFECT.

The more you practice something the more you become better at it. Is inevitable. I am nowhere near being Leonardo da Vinci but who cares? I love my drawings and they make me feel good and this is what matters! We must start somewhere and even if you never tried that thing this doesn’t exclude that one day, you could become extremely good at it!

To be quite honest, I would feel rather empty without my passions, those things are part of who I am they help to go through difficult times, connect to my inner self and make me feel complete and I encourage you to try out those things you always postpone because you didn’t think you were good enough or because you never created time for it. 

It’s time to take our lives to the next level and to start to be doing what we were meant to be doing. Answer that calls now, follow your heart, don’t be afraid and just go for it! Life is a short journey and I strongly believe that although we might face difficult moments from time to time, we must work on ourselves to have a more meaningful existence I believe creativity could be a way to connect ourselves to a higher realm.

I hope this was helpful to someone

With Love

Giada

Written by: Giada Combusti 

During my life, although having ups and downs (like everyone ) being treated unjustly for apparent no reasons (like everyone ) and left alone during the time where I needed them the most  ( as someone else might have experienced ); I have learned, since the beginning, to look at the smallest things in life to be happy and to feel grateful. 

Let me make it clear how it hasn’t been and it is still not smooth and easy, but overall I believe just for the simple fact that I am alive I shall be grateful. 

I am in my early 30s and I must say, life ( or God as I choose to understand ) is being kind to me. I hadn’t had any major health problems so far, neither I was involved in a war, I have never been physically abused, never I was left without a meal and till now, I had a nice life and to be more precise with the way I experience things, by being grateful with the smallest thing, I had a wonderful life with the grace of God.

However if I had to choose a period where I felt at the peak of my happiness and contentment, for many reasons I would choose the time since I became a mother. Never on earth, I would think that being a mother could bring so much. And yes, I had a very tough time and I still do from time to time but being a parent is so far the richest state that I have ever experienced.

Since I allowed myself to be a fully present and active parent I have experienced a sense of completeness so strong that I sometimes feel guilty about so many blessings. 

THINGS DON’T LAST FOREVER ENJOY THEM WHILE YOU CAN.

Parenthood is a blessing. From the moment you know to be pregnant, you become a Mother. 

A life is growing inside you and is your duty to look after this new life. 

We know IS difficult, especially the first year when EVERYTHING has changed so quickly and you find yourself with zero free time, and tons of things to do, learn and endure but this is special. Not everyone can experience this and THIS is a natural thing that helps us to reconnect to our truest selves. 

I am very grateful I stopped MY life to start OUR life together, this short time together is slowly evolving into something different from day 1 and nothing is as expected. 

I choose to enjoy every little moment because I know soon or later for one reason or another all this will be over. 

I am so grateful I breast-feed for years.

I am so grateful for the hundreds and hundreds of stories I read to them again and again.

I am so grateful to have played hours with them. 

I am so grateful I have kissed and cuddled them so much ( like now I have to stop for a morning cuddle ) it’s always a good time for a cuddle.  https://www.parentingforbrain.com/children-hugging/

I am so grateful I have slowed down for them, for us! So, if I can strongly suggest anything to a new parent it would be to ENJOY EVERY LITTLE MOMENT because things don’t last forever.

A PRESENT PARENT IS BETTER THAN A RICHER ONE.

We are not here to judge and I know many working mothers don’t have a choice however some do.

I know, someone has to work to get the bills paid and we all understand that but IF spending more time with the family only means fewer monies to be spent on brand new bags, clothes, shoes, takeaways, movies, hairdressers, jewellery, drinks out, the newest phone, bigger tv etc well, all the superficial stuff I would reconsider this in order to have a freer life to nurture the family. I decided to do so and I am sure you can do it too. I cut off so many things from my life but the things I am getting back are priceless and I am strongly sure to say that memories are better than material stuff and frivolous pleasures. Check out what expert Erica Komisar said about this topic started noticing a trend among American families. “I was seeing an epidemic level of emotionally troubled children who were really suffering from the absence of their mothers on a daily basis,” said Komisar, citing an uptick in conditions such as ADHD, early childhood aggression and social disorders. “And it’s just getting worse,” she said.

All the research pointed Komisar to one thing: the critical role mothers play in the first three years of a child’s development. https://wtop.com/parenting/2017/05/why-prioritizing-motherhood-in-the-first-three-years-is-critical/

SLOW DOWN, LOOK, BREATHE AND ENJOY

I am a very ‘’ enjoy the moment ‘’ kind of person and I truly try my best but I am only a human and part of my motherhood was set in London where everything and everyone is in a rush but thanks also to the kids I have learned to slow down and look at that cute little leaf or the ants crawling inside the wood, to breath and just let things be without rush from one thing to the other and to enjoy even a surprising rain to our way home. Everything can be fun and enjoyable if looked in a different way. Especially my eldest d.d who is now 5,5 years old she literally runs out from our home to just splash and get wet under the rain, while singing and screaming out of joy! It’s heartwarming to see her so joyous for so little.

KINDNESS WILL ALWAYS GET THE BEST OUTCOME.

Most of the people who know me would say I am a peaceful/ calm parent/person but I always answer that as I am a Human being sometimes I lose my temper and I shout at the kids, and this thing really saddens me deeply.

I always make an EXTRA effort to be the nicest and kindest version of myself but sometimes I fail. I am a student of this life and I am still learning. However I must say that the nicest version of myself always gets the best results, they listen to me more and the activities we have during the day unfold nicely. 

KIDS TOYS: LESS IS MORE

There are a few things I remember clearly from my childhood and one of these is when my Italian Grandfather ( class 1918 ) walked into our bedroom, I think I was about 8 years old, he was astonished at how many toys we had, he looked at us speechless and said: “ is it that teddy bear not enough?” and that stuck in my mind and since I had my kids I understood what he meant. We/they don’t need to have a lot of stuff to be happy, fewer toys are better than more.

How many times did we see our kids play with cardboard boxes rather than the actual toy inside it?

How many times did we see our kids playing with random things from the kitchen?

How many times did we see our kids playing with “no toys” things? 

I know there are toys that can really help them to develop their motor and creativity skills but trust me they need far less than what the mainstream tells us they need. Keep it simple.

LOVE AND ATTENTION ARE WHAT THEY REALLY CRAVE FOR.

No matter how lovely that toy is, no matter how amazing our pram is, no matter how expensive their shoes are, no matter how great the location that we are at, what they really want is our time, love and attention. 

This is it. Nothing else really matters. They want US, and yes, we are busy, I have got that but we must create space to connect and bond with each other, after all, they are our children. Create space for them and I assure you, you will be surprised how richer your life will be. Once again, all this will be over soon. So, enjoy it while you can!

A BRAIN LIKE A SPONGE.

Each and one of us has a lot of potentials and we can master whatever we want, age is not a limit and neither are resources, if you are focused, strong, motivated, positive and willing to sacrifice a bit you can achieve a lot. Kids have something special. I kind of knew this as it became a well-known thing but I never realised till I had my kids how true that statement is. Not only our kids are bilingual they are curious to learn more, the more we pour in their vassal the more excited they get and their memory is something else. We don’t own a tv and there is no such a thing as screen time. We read books and they love it. I encourage parents to nourish the kids from the very beginning with good stuff you will be surprised how much they can absorb. 

PRACTICE PATIENCE, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE NEED!

9 are the months before you can see your baby; it takes time before we can taste the fruits we planted and you might wait a while before your heart will be healed after a delusion, these are just a taste of how patience is a crucial part of our lives. 

We are all so spoiled and have everything now in the best shape possible but unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work like this. Patience should be our companion because without it we would be feeling like a writer without a pen, a singer without a voice…. We would feel lost.

You will be asked “why” again and again, change infinite numbers of nappies, you will tell them to be quick etc and without being patient life would be a complete disaster. Practice patience and you will be ok!

Well, those are the main things I have learned since I am a mother, there will be more to come and I must say that is beautiful to grow together and I know is it is sad when things don’t go in the way we expected to go but I am sure at the end we all going to be fine. What have you learned?

I hope some of you, will find this article inspiring…

With Love 

Giada

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